I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
How's work?
Spinning.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Who died my cat blue again?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
