Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
