This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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