lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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