Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize