what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize