marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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