I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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