The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
