I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize
