I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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