i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
