You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
