Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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