We're like a lot better than the average bears
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
