If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
