He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Ketchup is God's man juice
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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