tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
