she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
