thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I have aggressive nipples.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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