I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
