can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
