Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
