They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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