So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
