She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
