Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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