I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
