IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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