I only kidnapped one of them. chill
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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