I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
