Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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