no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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