No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize