it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
