I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
