WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize