It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
