this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
