I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
