haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
