You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
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