im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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