It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
