Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
how does that bad decision feel?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
