Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
