oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
you would pick up someone in the library
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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