im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
