Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
