His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Randomize
