can we get nightvision for the apartment?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
