Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
