it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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