i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
