Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I came so hard my ears popped.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
