why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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