My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
