dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
