they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
