Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Can vaginas get frostbite?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize
